If Jesus Rode a Motorcycle Which One Would He Choose?

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It was a grand day in heaven today, God out of the kindness of his heart had organized a day at the races and many angels of all rankings were expected to be in attendance. I mean, it’s not every day that God arranges motorcycle race days and today was not one to be missed.

There was much chatter going on between many of the angels and bets being placed upon which motorcycle Jesus would be turning up on. Rumors abounded, some angels had heard some rather familiar engine noises coming from a particular corner of the universe and so everyone was on tender hooks wondering if on this occasion they might win the race.

God, they knew had been planning this event for rather a long time. Knowing that He is the Alpha and the Omega, knowing the beginning from the end, one of the angels wryly remarked that the race had no doubt been rigged so there could only be one sure fire winner, however this was not putting off many of the angels who by now were revving their engines in earnest as a great sweep of excited expectation passed through all the old and young souls alike. Everyone was looking forward to the race.

The course had already been laid out in advance, near the planet which is commonly referred to as earth. There was some concern in fact that a man made satellite might present some problems since it’s orbit was known to be creeping ever closer to the race track itself. One of the younger souls finally saw it, not more than half an hour before the first race was to begin and floating over, gave it a hefty boot with his right foot, bending it like Beckham out of harms way, unfortunately on this occasion clanging another older angel on the head en route. Still, it was safe to say that’s it’s orbit would not now effect this grand motorcycle heavenly event.

Then suddenly a fanfare started up, several angels blowing their trumpets and a hush befell the crowd. Hear, hark! What is that? It’s Jesus! He’s coming on his motorcycle. All the angels gathered together craning forwards to get a better look. Everyone wanted to see which motorcycle Jesus would be riding today. As excitement gripped the crowd of onlookers, suddenly behind an asteroid belt in He rode and much to everyone’s amazement and to the general hilarity of some of the younger souls, Jesus was today riding a Vespa motorcycle. In actual fact he looked rather cool upon it and sweeping to a curving skid in front of the main stage area, alighted and stood there beaming radiantly at the crowd, as He took off his retro styled helmet. His white beard immediately fell loose from the strap and flowed out glinting in the early morning sunshine.

Grinning from ear to ear He turned to the crowd and began to address them on the rules for the day. No barging other angels on the track, everyone must wear appropriate helmets etc pre-approved by the heaven sports council etc. Then majestically, he made His way over to a new building and entered it. Meanwhile a hush fell upon the crowd of waiting angels, ‘What the dickens is He up to now?’, said one.

They were not to wait long before the answer became immediately obvious as the building which just a second or so before had been there, suddenly blew apart into smithereens in all directions and there was Jesus on his race motorcycle. With an almighty roar that reverberated around the solar system, a huge cheer went up among the myriads of angels gathered and a look of sheer astonishment on the faces of not a few of them. Jesus, still grinning from ear to ear twisted the throttle again and a few of the recently admitted souls to heaven recognized the sound straightaway!

‘Here He comes, make way’, some of the older angels ushered the parting crowd to each side to make way for Him. Jesus today was riding his favorite motorcycle of all, a Victory Vision 800 in gleaming gold.

Gasps of delight rippled around all of the other souls, who now started to make their own way towards their own bikes and before long had passed, the first stage was set with Jesus in pole position on the starting grid, cutting a fine sight for all the other competitors behind him. The course today was only a mere 100 light years around, large by human terms but just an average sized track as far as heavenly sporting events go.

The noise was incredible, a shimmering heat haze of engines screaming on Red Bull sponsored star system fuel cells. The flag was up, then quick as a flash lowered and all the riders tearing off towards the Sun with Jesus of course leading the way.

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